Setting the Rules: A Lesson in Love
by The Compendium of Steve
Summary: With 3 hours left in a writing contest, someone dared me to make a last-minute entry. I wrote this shipfic abomination in about half an hour, and it shows. Enjoy!


**Knowing the Rules:**

**A Lesson of Love**

By The Compendium of Steve

Within the cozy confines of Fluttershy's cottage, Rarity was cooing her heartbroken pegasus friend. The poor pink-haired filly was much aggrieved and overcome with sobbing, and considering the blow she had been dealt earlier, it came as no surprise.

"I, I just can't believe it," Fluttershy choked out the tear-filled words into Rarity's shoulder. "It was, it was supposed to be perfect!"

"There there, darling. It's alright," Rarity said, brushing her friend's hair gently with her hoof.

"No it's not! Big Macintosh was my one and only, but he just, just-!"

The timid animal-lover couldn't finish, instead breaking into more crying. Rarity remained vigilant in her compassion as she let her friend's tears flow.

"Yes, it was quite startling for him to say not to you like that. Honestly I thought you both fit marvelously for each other," Rarity said. "But you have to understand, dear Fluttershy. We're no strangers to love. You know the rules, and so do I-"

"But a full commitment's what I'm thinking of!"

"Yes yes, and you thought you wouldn't get it from any other guy," Rarity resumed. "But, Fluttershy darling, as both your friend and long-time spa partner, I just want to tell you how I'm feeling. I've got to make you understand."

"Huh?" Fluttershy paused in her despair-athon as she looked into Rarity's gentle blue eyes.

"I want to tell you that, no matter what, I'll never give you up, never let you down, never run around and desert you."

"But, you've run around plenty-"

"Never will I make you cry, nor will I ever say goodbye. And above all else, I'll never tell a lie and hurt you."

"B-but, Rarity? You've told lies plenty of times."

"Oh, why, yes," Rarity admitted with a blush. "Well, none of them hurt you did they?"

"Well, no, I guess not," Fluttershy agreed.

"Good. Now that you know how good a friend I am, I say it's time we-"

"NOT SO FAST, HUSSY!"

With a thunderous crash of wood the front door flew in across the living room. From the open doorway Rarity gasped at the sight of a very hot-blooded Pinkie Pie, adorned in a suavey trench coat!

"Pinkie Pie! What are you doing here!" Rarity exclaimed, holding Fluttershy's head close to her chest.

"Don't play dumb, Rarity!" Pinkie said while pointing an accusing hoof at the fashionista. "We've known each other for so long; your heart's been aching, but you're too shy to say it!"

"Whatever are you talking about? Did you drink too much rainbow again?" Rarity asked.

"W-what's going on?" Fluttershy said half-pleadingly.

"I'm trying to keep you from taking my mare!" Pinkie did the somersault across the room and onto the coffee table before the two other ponies. Looking down on them, she then said, "Rarity! Inside we both know what's been going on! You've wanted to make the moves on Fluttershy for quite some time. Big Mac's rejection was just the windfall you needed to make your confession. However, we BOTH know the game, and I'M gonna play!"

There's a considerable pause as the three ponies just looked at other, until Rarity calmly said, "Pinkie Pie, darling. You're saying quite a lot. Now, I honestly can't say what I think of it, but," she paused briefly, as though wrestling with some deep inner conflict. "But, if you asked me how I'm feeling…"

Pinkie leapt down from the table and slammed her forehooves onto the table, snapping the other two fillies to full attention. "Darn it Rarity! Don't tell me you're too blind to see! I would never give you up, never let you down, never run around and desert you! I would never make you cry, never say goodbye, never tell a lie or hurt you!"

At this proclamation Rarity lifted her head. "Wait. So, you wouldn't give me up, or let me down, or run around or desert me?" Pinkie nodded vigorously to this as Rarity continued, "Nor would you ever make me cry, or say goodbye, or tell a lie?"

"OR HURT YOU EITHER!" Pinkie cried as she leaped back onto the table, only now she was kneeling on one hindleg. "Don't you see Rarity? I Love You!"

Rarity let out a heartfelt gasp as she stood up abruptly, letting go of Fluttershy's head in order to cover her mouth. "Oh, Pinkie Pie! I was a fool not to realize that you felt the same way! But I had thought it was a lost cause."

"There's nothing lost when it comes to Pinkie Pie," Pinkie said with a wink. Rarity started swooning amidst all this fiery passion and revelation.

"Oh, take me my one and only!"

Rarity threw herself into Pinkie Pie's forelegs, and with her love in her hooves the perky pink pony skipped away, out the door and into the vast bountiful expanse that was their future! Meanwhile, Fluttershy now found herself alone and immensely confused.

"But… But I still have nothing!"

"For now, maybe."

"GASP! Rick Astley!"

And lo and behold, standing there in the living room was the swanky master crooner of love himself, in full trench coat and sunglasses attire. Though immediately star-struck, Fluttershy was quick to recover and ask, "But, why are you here?"

"To see everything goes the way it should," he answered most smoothly. "Love is a complex game, with set rules for every occasion and encounter. In the case of those two, it was the bold and unabashed that get the happy ending. But don't worry yourself; someday you'll find your one. Plus, there isn't a rule that says you can't try twice on the same guy."

"Wow. Thank you, Mr. Astley! I'll keep hope alive!"

"Be sure that you do," she said, and then turned to the door with a contented sigh. "My work here is done; time to deliver my profound wisdom somewhere else."

Taking his leave, the marvelous Rick Astley returned to his back-flipping bartender valet, and together they ascended toward the heavens, where new worlds and new games of love were in play and in need of a seasoned referee.

**THE END**


End file.
